Portugal gets points for at least having a descent selection of coffee shops in most major cities. On the other hand quite a few point must be deducted for the coffee menus which can sometimes be completely incomprehensible.
And as if that wasn't enough someone also decided to name the coffee drinks differently depending on where in Portugal you are located.

Here's a menu with translations to make sense of the mess!

COFFEE MENU:

Café (Lisbon - Bica):
Espresso, the most common type of coffee in Portugal. It is called something
different depending on how it is served though:
Cheia means a full cup.
Tres-quartas is 3/4 of a cup.
Cafe Duplo is a double shot.
An Italiano is an extra strong and extra small shot of espresso,
only containing the first few seconds of poured Espresso.
A Carioca is the opposite: an espresso minus the first two seconds of the shot,
making it almost a full espresso cup but less intense.

Cortado:
A small cup of coffee from the machine's "small cup" function. Not to be confused with the Spanish Cortado which contains milk.

Pingo/Pingado:
Espresso with a drop of milk served in a small cup.

Garoto:
Also Espresso with milk, yet with more milk than in a Pingo. The drink has about a 50/50 ratio of coffee-to-milk but is still served in a small cup. This is what would be called a Cortado in Spain.

Abatanado:
A long coffee. This is what would be called an Americano, but actually ordering an "Americano" will give you instant coffee in some places in Portugal.

Nescafe:
If you do want instant coffee, this is what to order.

Galao:
Served in a large cup, this is a milky coffee with about 3/4 parts milk. The coffee is traditionally the second passing from the machine making it a weak shot. As a result this is more like coffee flavoured milk

Galao Directo:
Same as above but with an actual espresso shot, making it a lot like a caffe latte.

Meia de Leite:
Half milk, half coffee in a regular cup, sometimes known as a flat white.